This was the first Christmas without my Mama. I was doing way better than I had anticipated. I prepared the desserts the night before with no problems. Woke up early to start on the rest of the dinner. Watched my munchkins open their presents. Plus hosted dinner for all of my family.

But after the kids were in bed, and I was left with silence. It hit me. It's still hitting me. I'm crying as I type this post right now in hopes of some type of relief. But it's not working. AT ALL. One of my aunts got the kids a tshirt with a picture of my mom on it and it said "To my beautiful granddaughter, Love Nana" and "To my handsome grandson, Love Nana." I had to walk out of the room when they opened them. My son came up to me and said, "It's ok Mama. Nana's in heaven now." And I know this yall, but it doesn't make it hurt any less. It just hurts so much when I realize that we will never make any more memories. That my kids will never get to open a gift from her, or hear her brag on them, or be told that she loves them.

It scares me that they may forget her. I have no idea how to keep those memories alive for them when I can barely talk about her without crying.

Everyone keeps telling me that time heals all things. That's the biggest lie known to man. It doesn't heal anything, we simply learn how to disguise it better. Time makes it worse. Time is ruthless. Time keeps moving. Time doesn't stop for one second to see if your okay. Time doesn't stop to show respect/ Time doesn't care. It doesn't care that as it keeps moving memories fade,or that her voice isn't as clear to me. Days still change to night, while sometimes I'm still stuck on August 23, 2016. Like today. Right now. In this moment, all I can hear is that deafening beep saying that her heart is no longer beating. And the pain is still paralyzing...

XoXo,
Yannie

The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why. 

XoXo,
Yannie

Hey Lovebugs!!!!

Sorry that I've been MIA. Ya girl was sick for a week, and I had to prepare for my makeup class this past Sunday. So yeah, my apologies.

I just wanted to let yall know that I was still alive lol. I also wanted to give you a few updates on the makeup line.

Here's what's new:
1. The Logo for the line has been finalized and sent to the manufacturer. So,the next step is approving what it looks like on the products and packaging. YAYYYYY!!!

2. Beauty Basics by BIND was an absolute success. People came out to support. We had so much fun, and all of the ladies did really good on their makeup. It went so well that we will be having a class in January as well!

3. All 30 tube lipstick shades have been finalized. As soon as I get the swatches photographed, I'll post them here. I'm sure you will have a hard time deciding which ones to choose from.

4. I'm going on a blind date soon....pray for me lol.

5. I need yalls prayers that this new opportunity comes to life for me. I can't say anything more than that about it.

6. Christmas is in 5 days and we have nothing under the tree lol.

That just about covers it... I'll make another post Thursday!

XoXo, Yannie

Hey lovebugs!

You ever have that person that makes you feel guilty for trying to do better? You know, those "friends" that call you Hollywood or Bougie because your doing a little better than you used to.

Yeah. Everybody has those type of people in their lives. They come in various forms: boss, teacher, lover, coworkers, friends, and family. The crazy thing is that nowadays strangers tend to support you more than people close to you.

WHY IS THAT?

Nothing grinds my gears more than someone making me feel bad about trying to do better. Except maybe counting my pockets. I really hate that lol. But... I digress.

Back to the topic at hand. Bro, who in THE HELL are you? Why does my success bother you? And y'all this can be with anybody. It can be that ex that you constantly beef with and you have no idea why? Something you are doing isn't what was expected. Maybe you bounced back stronger/faster that they thought. Maybe you proved that their existence isn't necessary. Maybe it's that home-girl that keeps hating on you and your man. Keeps throwing shade like its the 4th of July.

WHY CAN'T FOLKS JUST BE HAPPY FOR OTHER FOLKS?!?!? Questions that need answers...

They haven't seen the amount of tears that you've cried. They didn't stay up with you those sleepless nights. They didn't help piece your heart back together. They've never dealt with your pain. They can't begin to understand the magnitude of journey. So they definitely can't comprehend the magnitude of your happiness.

And to those people, I say: FUCK YOU, with the sweetest hint of southern charm. You can take two steps to the left and have several seats while I flash this smile and sashay right past you on this here road to success.

And that my friends, should be your attitude. No, it should be your mantra for 2017 and every year after. No one owes you anything. Your are not entitled to someone being happy for you. And as sad as it may be, that pertains to everyone. Even your BFF or family. They don't have to be happy for you. They just don't.

AND YOU DON'T HAVE TO CARE!

Once we realized that, less feelings will get hurt. I mean, you don't want someone around being dead weight as you climb this ladder to success. You want someone that is going to lighten your load. So just allow them to feel how they want and move around. No bad blood, just a difference in opinion. Let them talk. Let them hate.

THROWING SALT ON MY NAME IS JUST SEASONING MY SAUCE.

Ride for who rides for you. Support those that support you. Build a circle of encouragement, trust, passion, and loyalty.

Deuces to the rest, because at the end of the day their struggles are not your burdens.

XoXo,
Yannie

Hey love bugs! 

This week I got a little overwhelmed. I was just moving too fast for my own good. Too many things gong on at once. You know what I mean? I felt like I couldn't get a grip.

My friends and family will tell you that I am a type A personality. So once I get that stressed, I tend to go a little crazy. Y'all I had so much going on!!! We laid my uncle to rest. I'm trying to get things in order for this makeup class. I needed to rework my business plan. Revamped the blog a little. I needed to decide on products. And a few more things were on my list on top of scheduling my clients.

I know, I know... its exhausting just reading this. Imagine how I felt!

So I had to take a moment. You know, recenter myself. My dream is so big. I'm extremely passionate about it. Once I start working on something, I can literally lose myself in it. That's the amazing part to me. That's how I know that I've found my purpose. But I had to tell myself, "Yannie, you keep this up and your going to burn out. Success in anything is not instant. Pace yourself babygirl."

Have y'all ever felt like that? Whether its trying to be the perfect mother, working towards a promotion, or even losing weight?

You ever get so excited when you start that you just sprint! Not realizing the finish line is like 100 miles away. And you keep running, and running, and running towards that goal. You get tired. It's hard to breath. You feel exhausted. Then you start telling yourself that you can't make it. It's too far. So.... what do you do? YOU QUIT!

But all you needed was a break! A moment to refuel and reenergize.

I hit that point this week. I felt like my dream was too big. I had too much to do and too far to go to reach that finish line. But instead of quitting, I decided to break things up. My main source of anxiety came with the makeup line. The launch date is March 31st, and I'm not budging on that. So how can I make this work? What can I do to make this happen. I'm a single mom to 3 kids. That means all of my bill/expenses/clothes/shoes are purchased by me. No help from outside sources. I don't have the money just laying around to invest in this.

So I'm thinking.....sipping of coffee and Coca Cola lol. (Don't judge me.)

I decided to start small. Instead of launching with every type of cosmetic product, I'll break things up. March 31st will launch with our liquid velvet lipsticks and 30 tube lipstick shades. We will then drop new products and add shades throughout the year. That way we can just invest our profit into production of new products. Once I took the time to map that out, my soul became at ease.

We live in an instant society and without realizing it we strive for instant success. If we have to step back or rework things, we tend to feel like it's not working. When in all actuality, it's the exact opposite. Rome wasn't built in a day.

So today love bugs, I just want you all to remember that scaling back does not equal failure. It shows that your smart enough and passionate enough about your business to fix any foundation cracks.

And because of that, you're already one step ahead of the game!

XoXo,
Yannie