All too often, the news is saturated with stories of our boys,
                                                                                    our men,
                                                                                        our KINGS

with a hashtag attached.

But this week it hit home. In little old NLR a young king was robbed of his future. Charles "CJ" Smith, Jr. 17 years old. Senior. Son. Brother. King.....needlessly shot and killed by one of our men in blue.

Here.

In my city.

Down the street from the house I grew up in.

So, I wanted to address a few people in my post today.

To CJ:

I didn't know you, but through the stories of others, I felt like I did. I looked at your pictures and the first thing I noticed was your smile. I instantly saw how that smile brought joy to so many people. And my heart broke in that very same moment. Young King, I just want you to know that although you were robbed of your future, you're legacy remains. Your story has touched so many people and will continue to do so. Rest In Power CJ.

To Ms. Irvin:

My heart hurts the most for you. I cannot imagine the pain you are in now. I know there are no words to console you, and I won't try to. But from one mother to another, I am praying for your strength. Know that you have the support of the entire black community. CJ will not become just another hashtag.

Finally. To those who "don't see color" but kill because of it:

We are TIRED of burying our sons. We are TIRED of burying our brothers. We are TIRED of burying our fathers. We are TIRED of burying our KINGS. I want to ask you something. What is it about us that terrifies you?

Did we travel from Africa to Europe and kidnap your ancestors? Did we rape your women? Did we devise a plan to take and keep your men out of your household? Did we treat you like animals? Were your ancestors ever slaves? Did we end slavery (as a business/financial move), and turn around and build the prison systems? Did we lynch you for fun? Were you ever beaten to the point were your mama couldn't identify you because you whistled at a black girl? And oh yeah, she lied about it. Have any of your 12 year old boys been shot on site for playing with a BB gun?

NO?

What about for selling cd's? Complying with an officer and reaching for identification? Did your child witness it? Ok...Ok....going to the store for skittle's and tea? Wearing a hoodie? Running around your block? Going to a pool party? Have any of yall died as a result of a fucking traffic stop?

ALL WE HAVE EVER DONE WAS BE BLACK IN AMERICA.

It amazes me how much yall love our culture, but hate us.

We are the descendants of the Malcolm's, the Martin's, the Rosa's, the Nat's, and the Marcus'. We will continue to raise Kings and Queens who know they are not African Americans, but Africans IN America. We will become everything you fear. We will become everything you would literally KILL for us not to be.

We WILL be unapologetically BLACK. We WILL be unapologetically FREE.

**************************************************
Video of brother being interviewed after the shooting


Link to the family's GOFUNDME. Help this mother give her son the proper burial and pay for an attorney to seek justice. 

At any given moment, you have to be willing to sacrifice who you are for what you will become...

Hey lovebugs,

This entrepreneur thing ain't easy. It IS NOT for the weak. It is a struggle.

It seems like we are putting so much time and effort into something, and the results are just not matching up. Like, how can I possibly be working this hard and I'm still struggling. 2+2 is not equaling 4 right now.

We become easily tired and overwhelmed. So much so that we decide to take a little break. We tell ourselves, "Alright? I'm just going to take some time to recharge. I'll start back on it in a few days."

Days turn into weeks....

Weeks turn into months...

We look up a year later, and we are still at the beginning. I've been there. Hell I am there. And if I'm being completely honest, that was a pill that I didn't want to swallow.

I saw and still see soooooo much potential in my business. My dreams are so big that they scare me. So I had to have a come to Jesus moment with myself.

*Yannie, what is holding you back?
*Are you doing everything that you need to do to make this successful?
*Real deal, how bad do you want this?

Eric Thomas has a motivational speech where he talks about the key to succeeding. He tells a story of 2 men, one younger and one older/more successful. (I'm paraphrasing but I'll leave the link lol)

The younger guy (YG) says: "Hey I want to make some money just like you!"

Older guy (OG): Okay, if you want to make some money, meet me at the beach at 4am.

YG: I don't want to swim. I want to make some money.

OG: If you want to make some money, meet me at the beach at 4 AM.

They meet at the beach.

OG walks out into water until he is about waist deep, and tells the YG to join him.

YG: Dude crazy but ok.

OG walks until he is about shoulder deep, and tells the YG to join him.

YG: Ok, but this man is super crazy.

OG walks out until the water is right at his mouth.

YG turns around to walk away  but the OG yells, "I thought you wanted to make some money."

YG walks back in.

Then the OG pushes the YG's head under water. He is fighting, kicking, and trying anything to come back up.

Once he is up, the OG asks "When you were under water, what was the thing you wanted to do the most?"

YG: Breath

OG: When you reach the point that you want to succeed more than you want to breath, you will make it.

Yall that really hit home for me. I had to reevaluate myself. What sacrifices have I truly made for this dream of mine. Am I waking up early to make sure my post is the first thing you see on Instagram? Am I making sure that I am attending any and every event to network? Am I consistently carving out time to keep my blog current? Am I do every possible thing to make this dream a reality?

No. I'm not.

But I've also reach my point of desperation. I'm desperate to succeed. I'm tired of struggling underwater, and I want nothing more than to come up for some air. I want nothing more than to breath. So my next question is, what am I going to do to make sure that I can?

I can't 100% answer that question right now, but I am starting off with a few promises to myself and my brand.

1.  I understand that sacrifices have to made, including sleep, time spent with friends, etc. I will have faith that my friends, family, and body (lol) understand that I simply have tunnel vision at the moment. I cannot be distracted.

2. I will set goals and timelines to achieve them for myself. I promise to hold myself accountable and GET THE SHIT DONE.

3. I will celebrate each victory and know that each failure is only a lesson to be learned.

4. I WILL hit the pavement running.

5. I have no option but to get this done. POINT. BLANK. PERIOD!!!


XOXO,
Yannie

"Heard this her man too
My man is my man is your man
Heard that's her man
Tuesday and Wednesday, Thursday and Friday
I just keep him satisfied through the weekend
You're like 9 to 5, I'm the weekend
Make him lose his mind every weekend
You take Wednesday, Thursday
Then just send him my way
Think I got it covered for the weekend

We all know that part. I know I'm all into it every time it comes on Pandora. But let's take a look at the second verse...

I gotta say I'm in the mood for a little bit more of that
I mean I'm saying what kind of deal is two days?
I need me at least 'bout four of them
More of them, more of you on me
On us, just tell me you want me, yeah
Monday and I'll be at your door
Ready to take her place
Ready to give you
What you've been missin' on weekdays
What you've been waitin' for
10:30, no later than
Drop them drawers, I know what you want

Now I don't know many females who don't like this song, myself included. We live in a world that celebrates infidelity. We encourage "catching flights" instead of feelings. We are constantly told, "Treat these ni***s like they treat us. ALL MEN CHEAT ANYWAY." So expect to "go through" some things at the beginning, if you do get in a relationship.

I have heard that phrase so many times in the 5 years that I've been single, that I wanted to see if there was any truth to it. I also wanted to know, why do we as women think that way. 

Why are we OK with not being OK in a relationship?

So I decided to ask my friends on Facebook, and I got some interesting answers. But I'll let you know my personal opinion on the subject first...


I (CLAP) AIN'T (CLAP) GOING!!! (DOUBLE CLAP)

You cheat on me once, I'm moving around...quickly!!! I'll go deeper into that later.

Back to facebook, I posed the question: 

Ladies, how many of you believe that ALL men cheat? Explain your reasoning...
sorry this isn't worded properly, just thinking about how many of my friends have been through it now and it makes me sad.

Is there really such a thing as a missed opportunity? For whatever reason, you decided to say "NO." At that moment, the reason was valid. Whether the timing was wrong; it didn't feel right; or you just didn't want to do it. At that moment, you decided to say "NO."

Maybe just maybe, the opportunity wasn't missed...it just wasn't yours to take.

When we look back on life and think about the things we would change, we mainly focus on the negatives. "I would've had a degree by now if I had never skipped that class so much." "I would've been in the industry for 10 years now if I had just went straight to cosmetology school." "I could be living in NYC now if I went to the college I wanted to go to instead of the one 'HE' was at."

Let's flip it for a second though...

If you hadn't skipped that class, you wouldn't have landed that job that introduced you to your passion.

If you had went straight to cosmetology school, you wouldn't have the business and customer service experience that you do now that you're clients appreciate.

If you would have went to the college of your choice, you wouldn't have made those life long connections and learned those lessons that came with attending the college of "HIS" choice.

It's so easy to look back at life and see all the things you did wrong. It's even easier to get stuck focusing on the why behind those decisions. At some point, you have to find peace with the fact that at that moment, you made the right decision for you THEN. So shift your focus to NOW and to making better decisions FOR YOU.

Maybe God gave you this mountain to show others that it can move....
                                                                  -unknown

Hey lovebugs!

I know, I know.... it has been forever and 10 days since my last post. One of these days I will get it together and write more consistently! I PROMISE.

But on to today's topic: MOUNTAINS

Close your eyes and imagine a mountain: huge, unwavering, strong, too tall to climb, and stationary. Now, imagine yourself trying to push it... it's going nowhere right.

Now, imagine your dream life. In vivid details. Down to the color of your robe hanging on the door of your dream bathroom.

Mine is white, floor length, and silky.

That dream life you are thinking of right now...is on the other side of that mountain.

Now, how in the hell are you going to get there if you can't move this mountain.

THINK...

If I can't move this mountain in its entirety, I can definitely move it piece by piece. Right?

RIGHT!!!!

I'll be completely honest with you guys and tell you that I didn't grasp this concept until this year. I let the magnitude of the mountain weigh me down, and sometimes it still does. But there is this thing call PERCEPTION.

Perception- intuitive understanding and insight

Some things you just know. Some dreams you just believe in. Some things are just meant for you.

What's on the other side of that mountain, has "Yannie" written all over it.

If you've read previous blog posts or know me personally, you know that I've had my share of struggles. Some that I am still working through. But what amazes me is the amount of strength that other people see in me.

For example, one of my closest friends told me, "Roy, I reach out to you for motivation. You dream big and you're making sure those dreams come true. Despite your circumstances. You motivate me to dream big too."

I also have had a lot of clients going through a divorce this year. I was soooo young when I went through mine, but I learned a lot from it. And because of that one chapter of my life, I am able to help them start the next chapter of theirs.

Listening to and helping my friends and clients, has really helped me understand part of my purpose. Especially, when it comes to relationships. I am someone that people look to. When the sugar turns to shit, I am the one to figure out how to make things sweet again. (I say that in the most humble way yall.) I have to accept that I am that person to a lot of people.

Moment of vulnerability: That's heavy. That's a lot of pressure, but it pushes me forward somehow. Even when the things that make my mountain are unbearable, I have to find a way to move it. Even if it's just to show those in my circle that it can be moved.

Sometimes all it takes is a simple change in our narrative. Instead of reacting to my situation now, I choose to respond with ways to overcome it. If all I do is look at all of my problems (mountain) and cry about it, how will I ever get past it. Life sucks sometimes. And sometimes it is the greatest thing ever. You take the good with the bad...You just have to choose to focus on the great. Focus on the promises that you made to yourself. You will get there. You will get everything you dreamed of and more. You will make it.

You will move that mountain.

XoXo,
Yannie

There is no force more powerful than a woman determined to rise....
                                                                    -unknown

Hey lovebugs...

It has been one month since BIND cosmetics officially launched. So I decided to take a moment to reflect. It is amazing the things that start happening once you are walking in your purpose. I was so nervous about the launch. I didn't know if the turnout would be good, or if I would sell any product. I was just nervous y'all lol. But I set a date and I was going to stick with it.

When I say, my heart was so full once the launch party actually began. The atmosphere was great. The products were getting great reviews. The amount of love and support that I felt in that room was a little overwhelming. It was perfection, and it still is. The connections that I've been making this month are really setting the foundation for some really great things. I'm learning a lot about my customers and how to make things more efficient. I'm discovering new ways to make things personal. I want to feel connected to my customers and vice versa. There is so much more in store for BIND and I truly can't wait to see how everything unfolds.

I read an article about Coca Cola the other day. It said that the company only sold 25 bottles in their first year of business...I beat that in my first few weeks. So let's send up a prayer to the powers that be to keep this momentum going and allow BIND to flourish and really make a mark on the beauty industry.

And if you're reading this post, and trying to decide whether or not you want to go for your dream: DO IT. Even if you aren't ready, start being fearless in the pursuit of what sets your soul on fire. If you don't, you'll always be living in the shadows of the life your were destined to live.

XoXo,
Yannie