Today I ran across this quote:
There are things we don't want to happen but have to accept, things we don't want to know but have to learn, and people we don't want to leave but have to let go.
-unknown
Hey lovebugs!
December 20th was the day that my best friend was no longer my best friend. My previous blog post "Your Struggles are not My Burden" was the reason behind it. Long story short, she thought I was indirectly talking about her. Now, I have literally read that post 20 times since. Trying to see what she could've been offended by. No luck. How you react and the things that you say can be forgiven but rarely forgotten. I was hurt by the approach more than anything else, and unfortunately some things you can't bounce back from. Now, I will say she is entitled to her feelings, regardless of my opinion on the validity of them. They are still her feelings nonetheless. And as I type, let me issue this disclaimer: THIS POST IS ABOUT ME AND NO ONE ELSE.
I don't know what happened. I don't know what I said or did, but I do know that there has to be a lesson in this. Even though I don't want to accept it, learn from it, or let it go. I HAVE TO.
The day after it happened, I called my friend and business partner. I value how she thinks and how she can speak to your soul through conversation or poetry. I needed advice.
Her words to me:
"Yannie, you can love someone with all your heart, but maybe she fulfilled her purpose in your life. Or maybe you fulfilled your purpose in hers. Either way you both are on a journey that may not include each other. And that's ok. It's all a part of the process."
What she said made complete sense to me. I still didn't want to hear it though. Breaking up with your BFF is worse than breaking up with your man lol. But at some point, you have to quit feeding into it, right? RIGHT. I know what my end goal is and I'm busting my ass trying to get there. I have to focus all of my energy into my dream.I can't afford to get distracted. So, yeah it sucks. Yeah, it hurts, Yeah, I think it's some BS, but it's also a stepping stone. I know what God has shown me. I know the dream that he placed in my heart was for a reason. What I don't know...is his plan to get me there.
Sometimes we are stripped of everything, so that we can rebuild with a stronger foundation. We lose friends because we became distracted. We lose lovers because we have lost ourselves. We lose because somewhere along the way, we lost faith. I LOST MY CONNECTION. I was full of doubt, questions, and uncertainty. But the day after Christmas, I prayed with conviction. I prayed without ceasing. I yelled at God. I cried. I asked him why. I did this for over an hour. GOD WAS QUIET.
As I layed in my bed, I felt him. I felt peace. I felt reassurance. I felt his presence. I heard him say, "Putting your trust in someone has always been your biggest weakness. I need you to trust me, Royanna. In your weakness, I will make you strong. But I won't do it until YOU BELIEVE that I will."
My only resolution in 2017 is to trust the process.
2016 was my year of LOSS. 2017 is my year of RESTORATION.
XoXo,
Yannie
There are things we don't want to happen but have to accept, things we don't want to know but have to learn, and people we don't want to leave but have to let go.
-unknown
Hey lovebugs!
December 20th was the day that my best friend was no longer my best friend. My previous blog post "Your Struggles are not My Burden" was the reason behind it. Long story short, she thought I was indirectly talking about her. Now, I have literally read that post 20 times since. Trying to see what she could've been offended by. No luck. How you react and the things that you say can be forgiven but rarely forgotten. I was hurt by the approach more than anything else, and unfortunately some things you can't bounce back from. Now, I will say she is entitled to her feelings, regardless of my opinion on the validity of them. They are still her feelings nonetheless. And as I type, let me issue this disclaimer: THIS POST IS ABOUT ME AND NO ONE ELSE.
I don't know what happened. I don't know what I said or did, but I do know that there has to be a lesson in this. Even though I don't want to accept it, learn from it, or let it go. I HAVE TO.
The day after it happened, I called my friend and business partner. I value how she thinks and how she can speak to your soul through conversation or poetry. I needed advice.
Her words to me:
"Yannie, you can love someone with all your heart, but maybe she fulfilled her purpose in your life. Or maybe you fulfilled your purpose in hers. Either way you both are on a journey that may not include each other. And that's ok. It's all a part of the process."
What she said made complete sense to me. I still didn't want to hear it though. Breaking up with your BFF is worse than breaking up with your man lol. But at some point, you have to quit feeding into it, right? RIGHT. I know what my end goal is and I'm busting my ass trying to get there. I have to focus all of my energy into my dream.I can't afford to get distracted. So, yeah it sucks. Yeah, it hurts, Yeah, I think it's some BS, but it's also a stepping stone. I know what God has shown me. I know the dream that he placed in my heart was for a reason. What I don't know...is his plan to get me there.
Sometimes we are stripped of everything, so that we can rebuild with a stronger foundation. We lose friends because we became distracted. We lose lovers because we have lost ourselves. We lose because somewhere along the way, we lost faith. I LOST MY CONNECTION. I was full of doubt, questions, and uncertainty. But the day after Christmas, I prayed with conviction. I prayed without ceasing. I yelled at God. I cried. I asked him why. I did this for over an hour. GOD WAS QUIET.
As I layed in my bed, I felt him. I felt peace. I felt reassurance. I felt his presence. I heard him say, "Putting your trust in someone has always been your biggest weakness. I need you to trust me, Royanna. In your weakness, I will make you strong. But I won't do it until YOU BELIEVE that I will."
My only resolution in 2017 is to trust the process.
2016 was my year of LOSS. 2017 is my year of RESTORATION.
XoXo,
Yannie